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New Element in Periodic Table

November 13th, 2008 by Pastor | 1 Comment | Filed in Humor, Pastor

New element in the periodic table

Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, “Governmentium” (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called “morons”, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called “peons”. Since “Governmentium” has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every action with which it comes into contact.

A minute amount of “Governmentium” can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from four days to four years to complete.

“Governmentium” has a normal half-life of 2-6 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, “Governmentium’s” mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming “isodopes”. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that “Governmentium” is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalyzed with money, “Governmentium” becomes “Administratium”, an element that radiates just as much energy as “Governmentium” since it has half as many “peons” but twice as many “morons”.

Smile a while today, it will make you feel better and cause others around you to wonder “what’s up.”